This week we are looking at Teamwork and Leadership--What would you guess is the most important quality that one must have in order to achieve these lovely things... ... ...?
you guessed it: COMMUNICATION.
Communicating can be really difficult! We understand that! We often misunderstand each other, make assumptions, and hear our own thoughts instead of really listening to others. We're gonna break down one tiny portion of communication with the help of Marshall B. Rosenberg and his book "Non-Violent Communication" (Please, please check it out for more info!)
We need to learn to take responsibility for our feelings...sooo, when we hear a negative message we have four options:
1. Blame ourselves
2. Blame others
3. Sense our own feelings and needs
4. Sense others' feelings and needs
Here are some examples of how we mask responsibility for our own feelings:
1. Use of pronouns such as "it" and "that"
"It really bothers me when people cut me off on the highway. That annoys
me a lot."
2. The use of "I feel (emotion) because..." followed by a person/personal pronoun.
"I feel sad because you said you would be home on time and you are late."
3. Statements that mention the action of others
"Mommy is disappointed when you don't finish dinner."
So now that we understand how we mask responsibility, how do we take hold of it?
Well, Dr. Rosenberg says to "connect your feeling with your need: I feel _____ because I need____"
"Mommy feels disappointed when you don't finish your dinner, because I want you to grow up strong and healthy."
Does this make sense? If you have questions (especially identifying "what are my needs?") leave a comment below! We'd LOVE to help you out!
And it is always important to remember: Judgments of others are expressions of our own unmet needs!
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